My Life… My Thoughts

i joined the tutor training of the LA public library adult literacy program last saturday and my heart almost melted when they showed us videos of graduates of the program.  i’ve always taken reading for granted and i never realized how difficult it is to live in our world today without knowing how to read.  i was also unaware that a lot of people here in LA do not know how to read, considering that this is one of the major cities in the most powerful nation in the world.  the videos showed how learning how to read made a tremendous impact in a person’s life.  i was just taking this volunteer work lightly and i never thought it could get me emotional.

my motive for volunteering was very simple.  i just wanted to make use of my spare time. i am not giving up anything for holy week so  i decided to do something that is soul-enriching rather than self-centered.    after seeing a billboard about the adult literacy program, i decided to make a go for it.  the first step was to meet with the program coordinator, and it went well.  this was the second step. 

now i can’t wait for the third step.

After much thought and a little push from a friend, I did it. I finally summoned the courage to talk to my boss about getting a raise. Doing this can only mean two things: either I get what I want, or I get fired. I somehow managed not to get fired. Not that I got everything I wanted, but the compromise was good enough. With this, I felt like I found my old self again.

Eversince I came here, I’ve lost the fighter in me. There is much to be said about why this happened. Being a foreigner in a foreign land, I felt like my rights are limited. I felt like everyday is a struggle to prove myself. There is too much competition, and somehow it made me hold on to what I currently have. I felt like I could never afford to lose a job, that’s why I put up with whatever salary and responsibilities my current job has to offer. But lately with all the crap I’ve been getting, I decided to risk it all. But I didn’t do it carelessly. I did my homework and calculated my risks. Then I was blessed with a friend who gave me useful insights about the whole situation which somehow solidified my decision to do it. And was I glad that I did it.

I’m proud of myself. Irregardless of what the outcome would’ve been, I would still have felt the same. It’s about knowing what I want, and going for it. It’s all about following my heart thus living life to the fullest.