My Life… My Thoughts

It has now been my second straight week of eating lots and lots of chocolates.  Not a day would go by without me munching on those scrumptuous temptations.  I am particularly hooked on See’s Candies brittles and their awesome walnut bar.  I love chocolates!  But whoever invented them ought to be punished for making them so good it is sooo difficult to resist.

This is bad.  I talked to a friend I haven’t been in contact with for quite some time now and she told me I looked fat in my recent photo.  You see, my company had this photoshoot where we dressed up as pirates and I sent her the postcard together with the Christmas card.  When she called me, that was her first comment.  Crap! Blame it on the chocolates. When I like some type of food I eat it and eat it until I get so sick of it.  I was just getting over my mochi ice cream addiction when i got those chocolates.  What a killer!

Not eating chocolates for a year should be one of my resolutions…….But chocolate-flavored stuff can be an exception.

It’s 4:45am on a saturday morning, and I can’t go back to bed.  Somehow the cold woke me up from my slumber and made me go to the bathroom.  Suddenly, all the stresses of the previous day caught up on me. 

I have this feeling that my being nice and obedient has caused me to be abused.  Is it also because I am too docile?  Do I need to more assertive?  How do I become assertive without coming out as a rebel?  Better yet, how do I get assertive without getting myself fired?

I am almost at my 2nd year working with my present company and not once did I complain from all the stresses I get from this job.  And heck, it is not even a thinking job.  It is a very menial one that even a high school graduate can do. No pun intended.

But it pays the bills.  That’s the main reason why I try as much as possible to swallow my pride and put up with all the crap I’m getting.  The irony of it all is that I racked up a lot of bills all because I wanted to make myself comfortable.  Somehow shopping and having nice things have become a catharsis to all the stresses I get from work.  A vicious cycle, it is. 

Oh, it’s almost 5 am and I’m getting hungry.  Now I have a choice between going back to bed and eating.  I choose to sleep.  Getting fat is another predicament I don’t want to be in.