HOW TIME FLIES
I am feeling all bottled up right now. Somehow I feel like I need some peace and quiet away from all my worries, and the hurly burly things of this life. It has been quite a roller coaster ride for me this year. Looking back, I could only reflect on the many changes that have happened to me in 2005:
January to March - I was still at Marigold then. We were very busy getting our HACCP certificate revalidated and we luckily managed to have it revalidated for the next 6 months.
End of March - I tendered my resignation, effective first week of April. It was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made in my life. There I was, with a rewarding career amongst people that I love and yet I want more. There were two major reasons why I wanted to leave; (1) I wanted to find out if I can build a career in a foreign land, and (2) I wanted to find out if I had a future with someone I cared about. I resigned from Marigold if only to satisfy the "what ifs" and not grow old without discovering it for myself. My leaving spurred a series of goodbyes from my co-workers, friends, family and all the people that I love. It gave me a heartache and a bucket of tears.
First week of April - I arrived in San Francisco, all too excited on what lay ahead. Though I have already spoken with a few recruitment agencies while I was in PI, I discovered that talking face-to-face is different. Some people don’t really give you the whole picture. I had to contend with what was there. Even if I have travelled to California back and forth since 2002, this trip was somehow different since I knew that there is no turning back. Lucky or unlucky, I have to stand by my own decision and live through it.
First Day of May - I got a job in a rug company as an assistant. I never really liked it, but I knew I needed it to survive. The pay was terrible, and I was even starting to spend my own money. I felt like I wasn’t earning at all. However, this job introduced me to a different kind of world….that of the arts. I was never an artsy person. I have always been exposed to technical stuff, things that are seen in black and white. The abstract wasn’t too appealing to me. But at that point, I thought that was what I needed…..a break away from the things that are familiar, a space away from my comfort zone. One good thing about this job was that it allowed me to meet a few interesting personalities and genuinely nice people. In the end of my one month tryst, my manager and I decided that I wasn’t cut out for it, and so I quit. At this time too, I was already starting to find work in my own line of profession. Luckily, I got accepted by two companies, but opted to take the one which offered the best pay. The lower paying job was a Filipino company and the higher paying one an American company. I somehow felt a little guilty. I should’ve supported my own ethnic group. But at this point, my funds were running low and I had to earn big time to pay for my legal fees.
June - I moved from San Francisco to Los Angeles all by myself. I drove 7 hours on the intersate 5, fighting bouts of sleepiness, occasional heartaches and cowardice. There were two major reasons for this move: (1) I got a better job offer and a possibly rewarding career and (2) I parted ways with someone I cared about. It was very tiring both physically and emotionally but I managed to survive. I also started working with a pizza company. The job looks promising since I had to do the things that I’m really good at. However, it is a small company and so technical improvements are limited. I started to miss Marigold.
July- I started developing a HACCP plan for my new company. I also started to get familiar with doing clerical stuff which I never really did while I was back home. I was introduced to Peachtree, microsoft access and all other software that clerks usually use. Since the clerical job was something new to me, i decided to focus my attention on it and put the HACCP plan on the side. To not feel lonely and to socialize, I decided to join a kickball league in my area. I signed up online and got accepted by the best team on the whole wide world, the pregnant cheerleaders. On a personal note, I also started dating.
August - I was able to draft my company’s SSOP and the HACCP is slowly getting underway. A meeting was called between me, the owner and the key personnel in the production side to discuss the implementation. Before the month ended, the SSOP was implemented. I had to do all the inspections though. Unlike in the Philippines where I just have to draft the plans and give orders, out here I had to do everything by myself. I was proud of myself though. I feel like I am running a one-man show and have become so well-rounded. On a personal side, I was slowly falling for someone.
September - The HACCP plan finally came through and got implemented. I made a major clerical mistake at work but was forgiven. At this point, things had started to take a slow pace and loneliness started to kick in. My relationship with the guy I was dating also started to deteriorate. To top it all, I also learned of a few sad events taking place back home which made me feel bad that I wasn’t there.
October (my present) - I joined a fitness club to help me deal with my loneliness. I am currently experiencing small bouts of depression which might have also been brought about by the changing season. I try not to dwell on it though and focus on the lighter side of things.
Whew! How time flies. I never realized that so much has happened since I got here. As I am feeling a little lonely now, I sit back and reflect about the things that have happened to me in the past. If I have survived all those challenges, there is no reason for me to survive this one now. It is just a phase and this too shall pass….
