THIS THING CALLED LOVE
I don’t know how to start. My friends have always told me that I fall too hard. I sometimes deny it, but it’s true. My mistakes in the past should have taught me to be stronger, to be a little unemotional, but it’s easier said or rather thought of, than done.
As my friend Ginee has said, I have loved and lost and is now living a life after love. For me, the surefire way to live a life after love is to find another love. That’s what I did…..but it got me into thinking, "what if this love doesn’t last? will I have to live a life after love over and over again? And what if he gets back with his old love?" Ironically, my new love is also living a life after love. He doesn’t know I love him yet, and i wonder if it would freak him out.
I thought I was just on the rebound when I started dating my new love K, but i confirmed just now that I’m definitely not. R, my previous love just called me and we talked for a couple of minutes. He asked how I was and prodded about my love life, a topic we have evaded for so long. Surprisingly, I just started pouring out my heart to him. I told him all about this new love without even caring how he felt. I was also surprised for not feeling anything from my end. This was the person who I thought was THE ONE, and yet I am now telling him all about my NEW ONE! When we talked, I felt so relieved and pacified. I also felt a sudden surge of emotion for K, my new love. Although I have been paranoid these past few days, since it seems like K has been keeping his distance. Is he bored with me already? What if he suddenly stops seeing me, am I supposed to go through another heartbreak all over again?
This thing called LOVE scares me, but the thought of not having it in my life is scarier. If I have to live a life after love over and over again, I am willing to do so, ’cause nothing compares to the feeling of being in love.
August 17th, 2005 at 11:02 pm
wow, in as much as my name has been mentioned by my dear friend, I feel obliged to give my 2 cent’s!
Another wise friend (JJ) once said, sometimes, we have to repeat the same mistakes until we get the lesson. And am all for that! See, i never was around when u fell in love for the 1st time, I have no idea how u behaved. :-)But I was around when u fell for R. And then with K. And let’s not mention another initial! bwahahahahah
You do fall rather hard huh? Which is way okay. I guess the degree to which we allow ourselves to let go of control is a parameter of how hard we fall. You, I guess dont believe in half measures.
WHile u enjoy male attention tho, don’t latch most of ur self-esteem into the person and relationship. Know u r still a great person even if this person doesnt want to see u as often as b4.
So people change their minds. It just so happen ilang minds ang nag change, not yours.
And another thing girl, I have learned not to bank on a man’s word. I know cynical, but a cold reality. Their word is like an actor’s life. Both are as good as the latest production! Don’t rely on their previous statements. Deal with the now, and what they are actually saying.
I guess in this regard, some guys are better ahmmm “promisers”! And some are great “doers!” I like doers better.
There, tan-awa, mas taas pa akong comment kay sa imong entry! LOL!
August 19th, 2005 at 6:09 am
Very well said Ginee!